By Mike Haskins; Clive Whichelow
Others will now understand you as a reactionary previous git, unemployable, and a medical health insurance chance. Your opinion isn't even sought through excessive highway canvassers, and patronizing revenues assistants in outfitters should be your normal enemies. Your suggestion of a filthy weekend is cleansing out the backyard shed. at the shiny part, you could believe boastful that you've greater grammar than a school scholar and feature outlived John Lennon by way of ten years.
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Extra info for So You're 50: The Age You Never Thought You'd Reach
And OK, probably around half a billion of those beats happened when you were running round the house trying to find your passport before going on holiday last year. 5 litres of air per breath this means 157,783,680 litres of the air currently in the earth’s atmosphere have been inside you at some point. So I hope you’ve been using breath freshener. 5 litres of flatulence that you’re kindly sharing with the rest of us every single day of your life (that’s 82,179 litres to date of your bottom burps floating round somewhere).
Paul McCartney wasn’t knighted until he was 54 – mind you he did have the MBE by the age of 23. 43 Mary Wesley didn’t have her first book published until she was 57. ). British inventor Joseph Swan was 50 when he first demonstrated his British-patented light bulb – though most remember the similar achievements of some American whippersnapper called Edison who patented it first. ) A shelf full of diet books – spines un-bent 55 Amusing lights and other large decorations to put on the outside of your house each Christmas A garage full of exercise equipment (as new) 56 THINGS THAT YOU WILL TAKE A SUDDEN INTEREST IN Other peoples’ operations 57 The weather Pension annuity levels Newspaper articles on heart attack warning signs Finding grammatical errors in newspapers, adverts, etc.
THINGS YOU’LL NEVER HAVE TO DO AGAIN Explain how babies are made 63 Read We’re Going on a Bear Hunt or The Very Hungry Caterpillar to your kids Get your kids’ newest electronic gadgets working for them Change a nappy – until the grandchildren arrive that is Learn anything the hard way Be treated as nothing more than a sex object 64 BOO!
So You're 50: The Age You Never Thought You'd Reach by Mike Haskins; Clive Whichelow